Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The Good Life 6.19.13

the good life is about being grateful
  being present in the little things
remembering to breathe
seeing joy

stomach flu
 i've always been terrified of the flu.
that image from Stand By Me 
(when everyone is puking after the pie eating contest,)
this is the image that comes to mind.
four kids.
four buckets.
spewing stomach content. 
blech.
and then me, getting the pukes.
i'm breaking into a cold sweat just thinking about it.
we got the stomach flu this year. 
four kids.
FOUR WEEKS.
it was a long month.
but in the mess, i gained some confidence.
i have a pretty good routine down,
and it involves a shit-ton of Clorox.
(graphic lower GI pun intended.)

Drew
Calum

confidence
it's a dance, of sorts.
nurturing the confidence of children,
while getting out of their way.
i believe children are inherently confident,
clouded only by the fear of adults.
she wanted to make an apron for her doll.
 i'm so proud of myself for not getting in her way.
grateful for the awareness, in the moment, to quiet my need for:
order,
a plan,
agreement,
and a clean floor.
she wanted to make an apron for her doll. 
so, she did.




 breathless leaps of faith
if you're lucky, you've experienced these.
most of mine have come on the heels of my children,
but there are a few that came before.
that moment when i'm infinitely aware that i am terrified,
yet life is happening and it is GOOD! 
that moment when all i can do is watch, and breath. 
i am still.
i am quiet.
i am frozen in thought.
i am alive.
i am engaged.
and in the fear, comes the brave. 
because sometimes, being still and present is the bravest thing i can do.

Calum
Ella

thirteen years
it's been thirteen years since:
our marriage-celebrant dropped the f-bomb during our vows, while
we stood by a pond brimming with turtles, as
it rained a soft, gentle Spring storm, and
we drove off for the next 13 years.
it's been 13 years of growing, and
laughing, and
loving, and 
learning, and
creating a life that serves us both, so
we can serve our children.


it's a good life in all the middle moments...
between the vomits and the cleaning-up.
between the overnight hauls when someone is hurting, and
the coffee on the front porch while it rains, before the house starts to stir.
and the drifting weeks in between when i'm yearning to write but 
life has a different priority.
the good life lives in those moments between -
'i'm sorry you didn't get any sleep last night mommy...'
and
'that's ok, love. i'd rather spend the night holding you...'
it's a good life.