February 1

Today starts a new month! The first day of the second month...of year five being a mother. Phew. Makes me want to go back to sleep.... :) On the other hand, I'm sorda lonely here in the early morning with just my thoughts. Sometimes the voices in my head are louder than the kids. At least the kids give me some direction. My 'head-echoes' are often frantic and disorganized.

We have a very busy day today. Leaving the house by 8 (hopefully) to make our way down to Loudoun for a kid 'drop-off' & then on to an important appointment for C. We have to check on his ITP. Hope everything goes as planned and I remember all my questions. What should I be asking? How firm should I be? They know very little about ITP - ugh. Makes for difficult decisions.

So - today I will try to live in my brain -- be pragmatic, with a hint of heart. If I lead with my emotions today I'm sure to forget something. So - today is a day of thought. Clear, direct, problem-solving thought. I'll try not to yell. I'll give the kids clear expectations of appropriate behavior at Grammie's (last time they sort of destroyed the house.) I wouldn't accept that behavior at home, why do I find it ok there?? Probably because I can 'check-out' at her house. She gives them rules (or not) and puts on her grammie hat. I get to take those long overdue breaks on the couch and read a quick article in People. Oh how I love reading those quick stories.

I'll close for now. 90 minutes or so before I need all four, plus the dog, loaded in the van and headed down the road. I don't need to do much - grammie is providing breakfast and entertainment - but if the kids wake up during these lovely few minutes of inner thought, I'm sure to be discombobulated. Is that even a word?

Naken boys

It's that time again --- I can't let the events of yesterdays' afternoon go without repeating.

It's getting closer and closer to Halloween and we needed to add a little decoration to the house so after lunch I set the kitchen table up for an afternoon of crafts. Painting pumpkins (using marker), creating pumpkins for the front door, playdough, etc. The kids were happy and I was getting the dishes cleaned - all was well...for the moment. Shortly into the pumpkin decorating Calum decided it was best to decorate himself. No problem - marker comes off. I simply went over, reminded him that the marker goes on the pumpkin or the paper, and gave him his choices --- marker the pumpkin or get down. He decided to get down...with a marker. I'm blissfully soaping up a plate when I hear the sound of marker on the floor. Ugh. Ok - wet paper towel, Calum helping to clean, remove suspect marker from his hands, remove suspect kid from craft area. All is well.

Calum decides to return to our table of creation to complete his glue pumpkin. He does a great job all by himself w/ very little help. I get up to burp one of the babies I was nursing only to turn around to find Calum back on the floor, gluing orange construction paper to the floor. Is he trying to tell me he'd like a new kitchen floor? When did it become his canvas?! Again, being the calm & ever-present mother (wink), I remove the glue stick from his hands and guide him along to a more practical activity.....and by guide him & practical activity I mean drag him up off the floor screaming and crying and beg him to play with his cars....his other sibling is now ready to nurse. I need a few minutes since my arms will now be occupied with hungry baby.

Cut to an hour later. Calum's older sister is wanting to work outside on the front porch so I'm helping her get socks & shoes & a jacket. It's raining and cool outside...but she's happy and being very patient so she gets whatever she wants...survival of the fittest here! I look into the kitchen to see Calum standing on his chair throwing all contents from the kitchen table, onto the floor...crayons, napkins, orange paper. Oh my goodness child, what ARE you striving for today - Mommy's meltdown. You're close. Let's see how close you can get.

So, at 4:35pm yesterday this is the scene in the Levy household....babies waking up from their naps - crying from their cribs. Ella on front porch doing some 'challenging' work (her words, not mine...but fitting), Calum - back porch, naked. Back porch and naked. No shirt, pants, diaper, shoes. I put him on the back porch in an effort not to kill him, or scream at him. He didn't quite see it that way & in protest, stripped. Surprisingly, he didn't pee out there....it was a bit cold. There was a battle of the wills for the next 10 minutes or so - up to & including my calling Adam to say, 'Fair warning --- DO NOT come home right now. Drive around the block for ten minutes. You DO NOT want to walk into this house. If you do, I cannot hold myself responsible for any screaming that comes your way. You're likely to get caught in the crossfire and I'm deadly this afternoon.' He giggled, I giggled, Calum screamed as he sat in time out. Ella -- still working on the front porch.

Our day ended a few hours later with me cuddling that boy and asking him what was his favorite part of the day. He thought for a moment and responded, 'naked on back porch.'

Thank you Super Mommy

Happy Fall! The weather is cooler, the apples are yummier, the noses are drippier! Yep - Fall has arrived along with more containers of applesauce and greater need for Kleenex! Oh well - the standard 'Back to school' cold can't compare to the excitement of Ella & Calum for their annual hayride or their proud little faces after a day at school.

Yesterday was a fun day. I was going through some cooler weather clothing while the kids were playing dress up. Ella & Calum soon became fascinated with the plastic garbage bags holding all the clothes. For awhile, these most amazing-spectacular-ripped-trashed-best new toy on earth trash bags were kites that the kids flew around the house....we learned to fly a real kite just days before. Calum ran with such excitement flying his kite - it was all I could do but stop and watch him. Picture that scene in your head...toe-headed blond boy, running in the field of wildflowers, his kite string in hand, galloping of sorts, looking up high into the sky at his fascinating kite. OK - that's not exactly how it was inside our house but it was close. Keep the image of blond boy, replace the wildflowers with dust & laundry piles, keep the galloping, keep the fascination, lose the cool kite and replace with torn up trash bag. But it was good -- really really good.

After the kite fascination wore off we turned to Super Heroes. At some point Ella turned the trash bag into a book bag, taking the handle loops and putting them over her shoulders. As they were running amuck I said, 'Look at the Super Heroes, flying through the house keeping everyone safe.' We went on like this for a good while...SUPER Calum and SUPER Ella. A bit later Calum had asked for some milk. Upon receiving his now filled cup of milk his response...wait for it....'Thank you Super Mommy.' YES!!!! He said it...I certainly could have made that up but I didn't have to - he actually said it. For ever in my life I will remember him saying those words. He turned an ordinary trip to the kitchen, the standard 'fill my cup please', into one of those great kid/mommy moments. I love that boy. And yes, I am Super Mommy....at least to these little heroes.

Weeks and weeks

Again -- way too long since my last post but the previous two weeks have been filled with vacation activities. Adam took two weeks off from work for the 2009 Levy family stay-cation. We're a family of six - there's not much traveling outside of about an hours radius. Maybe next year ;)

Our time together at the end of the summer consisted of playground trips, the start of ballet & tumbling, bike riding, ALOT of pool time, Calum talking more, plenty of hours playing in the dirt pile, our fair share of Popsicles (we should have bought stock), all four kids getting to know one another a bit more, family visits, getting through hair washing without tears (accomplishment!), and many other silly triumphs only a mom & dad can fully appreciate. One morning we had all four kids in our bed waking up together. We popped the TV on and Calum said, 'Oh, I wuv Tigger & Pooh' - this was so dear and Adam & I shared one of those great moments of just smiling at each other. We are the parents to four amazingly beautiful children. Wow!

Some funny things from the mouth of babes:

"Mommy, Drew just spat on herself"....Ella was channeling her proper English background.

"Hole...me...Santa...Mommy" ----- Calum asking for a hole for Christmas after playing for two hours in the garden...in a hole.

"Mommy, can I have a Popsicle" - "Yes, Ella, after lunch." - "Um, no no no no, Mommy. That's just not going to work." ----- Ella. I didn't know where to go with that one.

"I don't want to play. I just want to have fun." -- Ella

"Yet's yump...(Let's jump)" --- Calum asking Drew to jump w/ him......"Ok, 'oney (honey), broda (brother) 'ere (here.)" --- Calum soothing Drew after he attempted jumping w/ her...he was holding her hands while she was in her bouncy seat.

"It's ok Mommy - just show me one cartwheel" --- Ella's request followed by, "Mommy, let me teach you how to do it right." --- Ella's response to my cartwheel. It's a good thing all of this wasn't followed by emergency vehicle sirens. It's been years, and three pregnancies since my last cartwheel.

"baby giggle giggle giggle" ---- Oliver's response to me kissing the sugar from his neck.

"Mommy, let's call Drew 'Charlotte' - it's a better name." --- Ella renaming her sister to follow the recent 'Charlotte' trend of our friends.

"I love school. I want to sleep there." --- Ella - what a difference a year makes!!! "Me too!" Calum's response to his sister's enthusiasm.

My response to all of these? My heart soaring & breaking, all at the same time. How exactly does that happen?

Birthdays, Babies, and Boys

It's been wayyy too long since my last post, and many of you know all the happenings of our last few weeks, but I'll do a rundown to catch the rest of you up....Ella's 4th birthday, twins, 2-year old boy, dog, house, 2-year old boy, a birthday, and twins. These are the things that occupy my days, my weeks, my life.

I decided to write this blog as a memoir of sorts. So - let's remember. Ella's 4th birthday was Saturday. Four years - I just can't believe it. Adam and I have a picture of each baby shortly after birth. Oh that picture from four years ago. We look so young, a little scared, but so young. I probably look my best in the picture after Calum was born. Ha - I knew what I was doing with baby #2. The birth was exquisite and I was relaxed. The difference in those pictures is simply in our confidence. Cut to the picture of us shortly after the twins arrived (via c-section.) I look beat. I was beat. Adam's smile is a little more tired. It's the same, happy smile, just through a thicker vale of tired. We look at those pictures and laugh...as we still repeat 'four' to one another before falling asleep at night. How far we've come in these four years.

So Ella had a princess themed party. Her choice, not ours. As much as Adam hoped she'd be his little tom-boy, she loves tappy shoes and skirts. She'll get them covered in mud but she wants to dress up like the best of them. I think she enjoyed herself at her party. It's difficult for Ella to be the center of attention --- don't laugh people. She is a girl, so there is some level of attention getting, but when the chips are down and the drama is weak, she'd rather you not pay attention to her...she gets away with more if we're not watching. I was proud of her though - she actually let everyone sing happy birthday. Last year she had us hum, and we couldn't clap. Seriously.

Moving on from all things Party --- Calum. Let's review Calum's activities of days past. Yesterday he knocked over a lamp, breaking the light bulb - one of those energy efficient bulbs...do those have mercury in them? I had the babies in my arms when this occurred so I quickly set them down to address the glass all over the carpet. I shoo'd the older kids away to pick up the pieces only to turn to see Calum pulling at his brother, Stretch Armstrong style. I finally had to put him in his room to keep him (and the rest of us) safe. And this is exactly how I explained it to him, 'You have to stay in your room for a few minutes while mommy makes the house safe again for you. You're not safe right now.' WHAT?! Why are these words even coming out of my mouth? How has it come to this? Oh yeah - 2-year old boy. After picking up glass shards, vacuuming, removing said lamp, and retrieving the ill-equipped babies, Calum was allowed out of solitary confinement, back to our general population. I'm not sure how these things happen. I'd say he's like a spinning top but he doesn't actually move that fast. A better description would be bowling ball. A bowling ball that never quite settles but just rumbles from room to room leaving a path of destruction, and saying sweetly 'Sorry, Mommy.'

Also on our docket yesterday was some painting for the kids. Calum lasted about 7 minutes. I was impressed with his focus and the limited mess. Only one swipe of the mop was necessary to wipe up the splattered paint. Ella enjoyed painting with her 'special' paints. She made about six different pictures before she discovered that she could 'layer' the pieces of paper. Lots of layering of art projects these days....I need to pull out some tissue paper and let her explore her need to glue/paint layer after layer after layer.

After the painting we headed outside. It took me some time to get the babies out the door. In the meantime, Ella pulled out the hose and turned it on. This was fine as I needed to water the plants. I have pictures of the fun that ensued but they'd be pulled from the website as explicit. Just picture two sweet, naked babies (big babies, that walk and talk) filling up a large ceramic pot with tons of water and making mud soup. The clothes came off in an effort to make Calum more comfortable...water and diapers don't mix well. I pulled his bottoms off and this just opened the door for Ella to be naked. My kids just like to be naked. So - for the next three hours - yep, three - we played in the yard. Naked bodies, water, mud, slip & slide and mommy. The dishes weren't cleaned, the house was torn apart, there was some laundry in the dryer, dinner needed prepping and I needed a nap but the sweet sound of two happy kids squealing as I shot them down the slip & slide balanced out the days' trials. And this is why these days are precious.

We also visited a dairy farm this week. Kids enjoyed seeing the cows and the similarity between milking the cows and milking mommy were a little frightening. It's strange when you can relate your child's daily experiences of watching mommy feed the twins to the mass production of milk. Those cows were amazing though as was this large tractor that caught Calum's attention.

And, at the end of the day - we sat out on the front porch, visited with our neighbors, tried to catch bugs, and cheered as Ella practiced her cartwheels. When the babies started to grump we brought everyone inside for 'vitamins, teeth-brushing, and milk' (our evening montage.) And a mere hour later this is the scene in the Levy house. Bliss...

Lesson Learned

Ok - so I've read several books on the 'Stubborn Child', trying to understand my daughter better, but after yesterday I realize that she comes by things naturally. As if my experiences last weekend with Calum, some flour, and his bedroom weren't enough, yesterday I finally learned that I needed to remove ALL powdery substances from the kid's room. Why you ask? Well, if you have to ask then the following has never happened to you & probably for good reason, you're smarter than me. Let me set the scene...

My friend and I are catching up in the kitchen. She's eating some lunch, I'm folding some clothes. Babies are asleep and three little friends are playing in the bedroom. It's that 'sensitive period' for closing doors around here - 'I need my privacy,' so the door to the bedroom was closed/ajar. I start smelling the sweet scent of baby powder but it doesn't even register as a potential hazard...I'm folding laundry remember, all baby laundry smells to some degree of baby powder. Until WHAM! The scent is so strong and my slow-ass synapses finally fire in my brain - oh shit, baby powder, a closed door, and three kids. I best investigate.

I open the door only to be greeted by the thick fog, yes fog, of baby powder. It was as if I'd stepped into a smoky bar at 2 in the afternoon. I had to close the door quickly so the children wouldn't see my face - the huge smile and heaving chest from laughing would NOT indicate that this scene was unacceptable. Once my friend and I regained our composure we opened the door and dealt with the kids, picking them up off the floor as they practiced 'swimming' in the layer of powder. It's amazing we didn't hear coughing or choking. We dusted the kids off and sent them out! Funny - for the whole hour prior to this incident they were all over us -- Mommy this & Mommy that -- but for the hour and a half it took us to clean the room, the kids were miraculously able to play on their own - no fights, no interventions, no attention needed from the mommy's. Nope - they left us to our work/lesson...cleaning a room full of baby powder. Where do you even start on a project like that one?!

So, the next time I say to myself, 'Sometimes Ella and Calum just have to learn things the hard way, ' I won't be so judgmental. I'm the idiot that had to clean flour & baby powder up from a bedroom twice in one week. Oh, and I forgot to mention the petroleum jelly that was smeared on the wall. Yeah - nice. Needless to say but all jelly, lotion, powder, oil - anything of this nature, that would require more than two minutes to clean up if spilled or smeared, has now been removed from the kids room. And we don't close doors anymore. Lesson learned.

Topic of conversation

Just a quick list of conversations from yesterday:

First thing in the morning:
1. Mommy to Calum - 'Calum, we use the flour in our kitchen, NOT in the bedroom. Help me clean your mixing off the bedroom floor and furniture.'

2. Mommy to Daddy - 'Daddy go get the camera, this will be a funny memory once we get past the cleanup.'

3. Daddy to Calum - 'Stand by your mess, son, so you have some evidence for the judge.'

Sometime, mid-morning:

4. Ella to Mommy - 'But Morgan was using the toilet and I really had to go.'

5. Mommy to Ella - 'You can use the toilet in Mommy's room anytime. Please don't pee in the sink anymore.' and 'Please don't tell your brother why we're throwing his toothbrush away. He can't use a toothbrush that's been pee'd on.'

Later that evening:

Mommy overhears Morgan to Ella - 'Ella, why don't you talk when you come to my house but you talk all the time at your house?'

And the last conversation before bedtime:

6. Ella to Mommy - 'But I have been to church before. When Uncle Tyler & Aunt Gwyn got married, so I should be able to go to church with Morgan. I love her.'

7. Mommy to self - 'I don't want to have a conversation about church and God right now - it's 8:30pm. I want to watch Food Network.'

8. Mommy to Ella - 'I'm glad you have found a friend that you love but little girls go to church with their mommy & daddy's first. When you get older you can choose to go to church with Morgan but not now.'

9. Ella to Mommy ------ no words, just the 'I hate you right now' look that only a girl can give to her mother.