Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Simply Ask

do you ever say this?
a simple word...

i had the chance to ask for help today.
and not help with the dishes,
or help with the toys,
dog poop,
no. none of these.
i asked for help - help from a friend,
to do something i just couldn't do.

and i was apprehensive to ask.
i almost felt ashamed to ask.
that shame - she's a bitch.

just ask.
no. everyone is busy.
i'll be taking advantage.
who am i to ask for this help? sheesh.

just ask
no. i am smart. i can figure this out on my own.
wait. i can't. i'm such an idiot. so stupid.

just ask
no. what will it say about me?
i'm lazy. stupid. needy. incapable.

just ask
no. what if no one offers to help.
i don't really need help. it's not really important.
if i was worthy of this, i could do it myself.

just ask

so i asked.
and i received.
i am so thankful for the time my friend offered me. 
in thirty minutes time she did something for me that would have taken me hours to do 
for myself.
instead of struggling for hours,
losing patience,
removing myself from what i NEEDED to be doing,
and creating a stressful environment for everyone involved (ie - kids & husband.)
i. asked. for. help.

why is asking for help so difficult?
why is it easy for some,
and miserably hard for others.
is it a sign of strength,
or a scar of weakness?
is it engrained from our parents,
and reinforced by societal cues?
i don't have the answers.
but LIFE has given me excessive opportunities to practice
surprise pregnancy with twins - help.
four children under the age of 5 - help.
kid with anxiety - help.
homeschooling - help.
making friends soul sisters - help.
figuring out my shit so i don't hand it over to my kids - help.
defining my bliss, and reaching for it - help.
figuring out bloggy-computer mumbo-jumbo language - help.
asking for help -
whether it's rescheduling carpool, or
grabbing eggs at the grocery store, or
holding my hand during a stressful medical appointment, or
talking me off an emotional cliff.
asking for help = trusting vulnerability.
vulnerability = courageous {to some} / weakness  {to others}
for me - asking for help, acting and asking from a place of vulnerability,
is a sign of strength. period. hands down. 
you can't convince me otherwise.
yet, i still felt shameful today.
asking for help.
can you imagine a world in which ASKING for help was as valued as
imagine it, just for a minute...
the 'need' is met with neutrality.
the act of asking is celebrated.
Asking for what you need is hailed as:

the act of asking is as joyful as giving.
imagine that world.


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